Signs you re dating
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be pampered, but if you place more weight on stuff than your significant other, you might want to rethink your priorities.
“Some people place high material demands on their romantic partners,” says David Godot, a licensed clinical psychologist from The Psych Lab.
But sometimes, just , you might get an inkling that you could be a high-maintenance person yourself—especially in your relationship.
For example, maybe your motto for date night is always “go big or go home.” Or maybe you can’t deal with your texts going unanswered for more than a few minutes.
“High-maintenance people perceive every need to be an urgent need,” says Adina Mahalli, a certified mental health consultant and family care specialist at Maple Holistics.
“They need immediate replies and constant validation.” If they don’t, Mahalli says, they could become upset, anxious, irritable, or annoyed.
But if you’re only appreciative of more elaborate displays of affection—things like bouquets of roses and impossible-to-find concert tickets—you might be high-maintenance.
After all, a lunchbox love note is just as romantic, if not more, than a fancy dinner reservation.
“High-maintenance people can be materialistic,” Walfish says plainly.
“They need money to be happy.” Due to their intense needs and desires, high-maintenance people are often viewed as high-strung.
“They are wound up tightly and anxious about the things they require,” says Walfish.
If you are, your lack of fulfillment could be a sign you’re a high-maintenance person—and you can bet that trait weighs on your relationship, too. Sometimes, the steak you ordered medium rare comes out well done, or the rock climbing place you wanted to visit turns out to be closed for a private party. Well, while some people can roll with the punches, high-maintenance folks will have a hard time moving forward.
A thoughtful partner expresses their love in a multitude of ways, both big and small.