No spark dating

As it turns out, the interesting thing is figuring out how you feel about a real person, not the character they play when they’re trying to keep up the intrigue.

The lack of spark and nerves meant I texted when I wanted, said what I wanted, and ultimately created a great relationship with someone whose personality kept me coming back, not the games we played.

I felt incredibly comfortable from day one with the man I’d eventually marry and because of that, it was much easier to establish real trust and get to know each other. Sure, there was a giddy feeling every time I talked to certain guys I really fell for, but that feeling was always teetering on the edge of major stress.

I’d follow the three-day rule religiously and try to play hard to get because I thought that was how you made things interesting.

If you've been single for a long time and/or heard the old "You're just too picky" advice (blech), you may feel pressured to keep an open mind. This isn't a hard and fast rule, but let's say you spend two to three hours together on each date, with some emailing, texting, or phone time in between. If you're not feeling any sense of chemistry or attachment, it's OK to give up.

An open mind is good, but you know how people who hit it off right away are like, "When you know, you know" and you're like, "Shut up you lucky brat"? Don't go out with someone you just it isn't going to happen with. That also applies to guys you haven't even met yet (like the dude who emailed me via OKCupid but used the dreaded C word to refer to women in his profile. If you want to keep trying, go for it, but make sure to be careful of his feelings too.

You're not going to regret spending some more time with a decent guy, even if sparks don't develop. You absolutely call it quits after a miserable first date (or even before it).If you feel this way on the date, you can just give up on him.In my new dating life, a problem I'm dealing with a lot is the disappointment I feel when I don't get that sparky feeling with a guy. The way I see it, on a formal first date (by which I mean with a person you don't know well yet, like an online date or a setup), there are three possible outcomes: For me--a love at first sight non-believer--number 3 is the most frequent scenario.I've rarely experienced numbers 1 or 2 (luckily and sadly, respectively).I think in most cases, it's pretty rare to know whether or not you have real dating potential with someone after only a few hours.

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