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She’s currently undertaking a Ph D in Gendered and Sexual Citizenship at the Open University and Oxford.
He hopes I’ll change my mind but I’ve told him I won’t! The most basic and straightforward answer is that your partner should never pressure you to do something you don’t want to do. It’s always slightly more complicated than that; even your letter, with its hints of your past experiences and his previous undisclosed “behaviour” proves that. You’re both committing to a long-distance relationship, which by nature demands a lot of sacrifice, a lot of compromise, and the hope that it will all be worth it in the end.
You also hint that he has hurt you, and you’re now trying to re-establish your trust and connection.
Dear Roe, I’m in a long-distance relationship and my partner asks to have cyber sex even though he knows I’m very uncomfortable with it due to trust issues from my past and also his past behaviour.
My question is, is he being disrespectful to my feelings by regularly asking or should I appreciate that he wants me in this way?