"Maintaining the relationship is important for your child's developmental outcome: social, emotional, and educational." Finley warns against becoming what he calls a "Disneyland dad," who acts as if his role is to show up on weekends and show the kids a good time.
"That's not good for you or your kids," Finley says. Talk about what's on their minds." Before divorce, some dads, Buser says, make the mistake of yielding much of their parenting role to their partners.
"Acknowledge that it is not the right time for that." After a divorce, it's easy for guys to let themselves become isolated, especially if the ex gets custody of the kids. It can worsen feelings of depression, guilt, and loneliness, a potentially dangerous mix.
Divorced men are twice as likely to commit suicide as married men.
This past summer, I was primping for a date with a really nice guy and looking forward to an amazing dinner.
It was such a treat as I had been so ready to meet new people, enjoy great food and great conversation.
Buser, Ph D, coauthor of The Guys-Only Guide to Getting Over Divorce.
Call up old friends, join a softball team, a club, or a professional association. Just don't make the mistake of expecting your kids to be upbeat about it.
"Focus on the other adult when starting a relationship," he says.
"She can meet the kids when you know you are serious." Don't make the mistake of continuing to fight with your ex, especially if children are involved.
"Learn to manage as well as you can from the middle ground," says Braver.
"Diplomacy and negotiating skills are key." Being civil with your ex may encourage more flexibility in terms of custody, and potentially more time with your kids.