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Last weekend, I was at that hamster's bachelor party in Key West, and he Oh, my God.

Hayley, I have something to tell you, but it can't leave this room. You missed my birthday dinner for a hamster bachelor party?

Now, here's your badge and two pumps of deer urine to repel Bigfoot and a little CK One because now you smell like piss.

They're truth seekers looking for a safe haven from our corporate overlords.

Hey, look, they take all the eggs out of the carton and put them in the little egg spots in the door. [Applauds] And the final stop on the grand tour your new bedroom!

All right, there's a group of babes by the Noodle Chest. " [Playing Laura Branigan's "Self Control"] First of all, I want to say hello to the government if you're listening of course they are and a quick shout-out to Stamps.

Would you girls like to cool off in a cold, dark basement? What my friend meant to say is you girls'll fit in real nice with the other treasures in his basement. [Eerie music played on synthesizer] Broadcasting live via short wave from a little RV on planet truth, this is "Truth Planet. Today, we're going to sit down with legendary Yeti hunter, Randy Ojai.

What we need right now is to get some babes in this castle.

[Laughter] [Laughs] I know they say it's a dog-eat-dog world, but this is ridiculous.

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