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What’s the point of being in a relationship at any age if you’re not having fun?
It shouldn’t be a job and it shouldn’t be depressing.
Likewise, they should be able to talk to you candidly. Nobody should settle for a partner who they are only sort of into.
The relationship won’t be healthy, nor will it last.
Nearly everyone who is single in their 30s has dealt with some form of heartbreak—be it ghosting, cheating, or death. The third date is not a good time to discuss how your ex cheated on you for three years and you didn’t realize it until a scandalous photo was sent to you from an anonymous email account. Yes, your past has shaped who you are, but it’s your past—not your present or future.
When you’ve been in a lot of unsuccessful relationships, a natural defense mechanism is to put your guard up.
If you don’t let anyone in, then you won’t get hurt, right?
You also likely have fewer single friends, so there's more pressure to couple up. One of my girlfriends is 35 and she just married a 27-year-old.
Wanting all of these things is okay, but grilling every person you date to see if they have what it takes to fulfill your expectations is not.
Focus on having fun and getting to know the person.
But it’s important not to let this negative thinking get the best of you.
If you think it’s never going to happen, then it won’t; you have to be positive. You'll never find your soulmate if you're a dating cynic.