Dating a guy but no chemistry
Also I have the same issue you describe and lost some amazing men that way. Being raised by a hypercritical parent really fucked me up emotionally.Are you yourself "nice, honest, polite, and relationship-oriented"?Perhaps you just like the courting stage and someone showing sexual interest in you.I'd either get real with myself and figure out who I am and what I like so that you can spot it "in the wild" or otherwise, and work towards that OR learn to value those traits you listed in the long-run.I think knowing who you are and what you need is imperative for a healthy relationship.
He was polite and kind and very sweet everywhere but sexually he fulfilled that bad boy side I enjoyed.
I have been both the good guy and the arrogant emotionally unavailable asshole type and when I was like that I had all kinds of interested girls and I took full advantage of it.
Then when I wanted to change and settle down the well dried up and the bit of interest I did get I came across too nice or too available and I got walked all over.
Chemistry is important, and that's just something you'll feel.
I personally like having a list of "musts" and "nice-to-haves" and let the chemistry do the rest.