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“They build their relationship skills dealing with the small differences so that they’re ready for the big ones that come along later.Create a lifestyle and a home you’re both compatible with, and do it together, so you’re ready for whatever illnesses, losses, disabilities, career changes, lapses in character, and childrearing challenges might come up later.” We understand the goal of splitting household and emotional “duties” evenly in a relationship or marriage. Less resentment, more gratitude, more happiness, more spontaneous affection.” According to Newbold, making concessions works well for nations or political parties, but not for couples.“Some of the brightest high-intensity sparks happen with people with personality disorders who can later be harmful to us.Strong chemistry isn’t always a warning sign, but it’s a signal to take your time and proceed with caution.” The idea that everyone has one person that is meant for them is surely romantic—but in the end, that idea may cause more problems than anything else.In fact, it’s best to separate the two, according to Monte Drenner, a licensed mental health counselor in Florida.

To help you determine what to take to heart and what to toss out of your mind, these are the bad dating and marriage tips relationship pros say to avoid. “Every single person you will meet is going to have flaws,” points out James Anderson, dating expert at Beyond Ages.“If time heals wounds, then why are there grumpy old people? “Making healthy decisions to treat the wounds heals them, not time.” If your relationship is already on the rocks, having a child will not make those problems suddenly go away.“While issues may be masked by the excitement of a baby, they will resurface—and when they do, [they] will be amplified,” Hunt warns.“Someone who needs to feel connected to another human being in order to survive will adapt their likes and dislikes to you,” says Megan Hunter, co-founder of the High Conflict Institute in California and Arizona.She warns that if you’ve “suddenly found a partner who also loves horses, worships your favorite sports team, has the same type of friends, and loves the same movies,” then they’re probably just a little bit codependent.

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