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When Hayley moved from Spokane, Washington, to Boise City, Idaho, she found the people to be warm and welcoming, but she was struggling to make lasting friendships and relationships.
She wrote about her experiences on Reddit and soon connected with another user named Ladytedward, who’d also moved from Spokane to Boise.
He came away with the realization that women have it much, much harder on these sites: I figured I would get some weird messages here and there, but what I got was an onslaught of people who were, within minutes of saying hello, saying things that made me as a dude who spends most of his time on 4chan uneasy.
I personally have had some experience with Ok Cupid before this experiment, which weren’t completely positive.
I spoke to a few friends about their experiences with online dating websites.
One friend brought up a message where a man had told her that because she was a ‘woman of size’, she ‘must suck good ****’. Others in the past have conducted similar experiments, setting up fake accounts on free dating websites and recording the messages they received.
In total, I received 11 messages with 218 visitors. A few were a little more forward, and two were straight-up aggressive.
The messages were all nice, although one user messaged me three times.
Plentyof Fish is perhaps the most popular online dating sites out there, with an estimated 6 million pageviews a month and 76 million users (a little less than the entire population of Turkey).
While my experiences here were relatively tame, that doesn’t mean it’s the case for every woman.
In fact, it’s not uncommon at all for women to be threatened for refusing to send nudes or insulted when they say they’re not interested in the man messaging them.